The second thing involved my son. He was playing baseball with his friends, and was up to bat. He is six now, old enough to know the rules, old enough to understand them and yet he wanted to make up his own rules. After three strikes he wanted to stay at bat. I said "No, three strikes you are out and Griffin is up". He argues, "No we are playing a different game we can have up to ten strikes", and I said "No that is not the rules of the game and you know it, now let Griffin bat or you are going in the house." He argued, cried, whined, fussed, made a scene and then I told him to get in the house he was done playing. Inside he cried and carried on. I told him that what he did was not fair. It was not fair to the other kids, it was not fair to me who tried to correct the choice he was going to make, and if there is one thing I will not tolerate it is someone not being fair.
Now I know that life is not fair. There are children born with horrible illnesses, there are loved ones that are taken away without warning, there are people losing their jobs, and so many many things that are not fair. I can't control those things. I can't control the actions or behavior of others. But I can control my own, and right now while my son is six I can control his and hopefully instill some values into this stubborn little head so that he understands how important it is to be fair. In times like these, where so much heartache is around, I cannot stand by and let my son think it's ok not to play fair. He will experience people throughout his life that won't play fair, and hopefully those are people he will stay away from. Because even though life isn't fair, there is certainly opportunity for each of us to play fair.
So to my friend, I thank you, to my son, I thank you for allowing me to teach you something today. Because as painful as it was for Max (he had to go in and go to bed), I asked him while he was laying in bed, "Do you think what you did tonight was ok" and he said "No Mama what I did tonight was wrong". And that will make me rest a little easier tonight. At the end of the day, the greatest legacy I can leave behind in this world is that I was a good Mom, a fair Mom, and one who loved her son more than anything in the world.